I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
