Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
