I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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