I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
