why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
