All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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