i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
