it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
