we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
