i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
