Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I could fuck to npr.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
