im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
