Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
