It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
