1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
