suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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