So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
