hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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