I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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