my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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