somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
