great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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