1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize