Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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