remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize