did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
