If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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