week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
