If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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