i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
