One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
