I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
