We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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