when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
