Jerry, you need to find god
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
