I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I am mentally ready for anal.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize