u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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