Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
