and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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