o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
