i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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