He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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