I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize