Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
