spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
