She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
