Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
