My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
