batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
