D3 body, D1 cock
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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