Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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