I think I just saw someone hide a body.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize