Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
