I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cockslap morals
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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