idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I believe in your delicious
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
