Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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