Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
