He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I understand Curling. That high.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
