It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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