I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
