I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
