This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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