Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
