Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
