What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
