I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
